1. Timeshare promoters won’t go near you.
I am a waste of their time to offer free show tickets to because there is no way in hell my kids are going to behave long enough for them to convince me to drop several thousand dollars on a week stay in Vegas each year. We both know they have a much better shot with the drunken guy.
2. Interesting photo opps are endless.
There are strange characters at every turn. If they don’t get excited about photography here, it’s a lost cause.
3. The day trip possibilities are incredible.
I can surprise my kids with a helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon, a short drive to the Hoover Dam or Bryce Canyon, and a walk around Red Rock Canyon.
4. Kids get life lessons in earning money.
It’s 110 degrees outside and there’s a guy working in a full-on Olaf costume with a heavy mask.
5. They remind you how good it is to not be 21 anymore.
No more staying up until 5 a.m. gambling or hitting the pawn shop when I’ve lost our life savings. I’m now adulting and it’s not a bad thing.
6. You can eat all the donuts or crab legs you want after herding the kids around all day and sweating.
And the little ones can stuff their faces for free or for a minimal cost. Thank you, Las Vegas buffets.
7. You can see them getting their minds blown away by Cirque du Soleil.
The lights, acrobatics, and imagination come alive in these magnificent shows. Sure, it’s not boobs like dad probably wants to see, but the kids and I are transfixed for hours in awe of the performance.
8. Walking the strip is like a Carnival.
And it’s free or close to free when we do things like see the fountains at the Bellagio, the flamingos at the Flamingo, take a sky high ride on the High Roller, and watch all the clowns walking around.
9. An afternoon can revolve around candy and you can pretend you're doing it for them.
We head straight to the Hershey’s store to make our own chocolate bars. Yes, I might get more excited about this than they do.
10. They remind you why you don’t day drink anymore.
Being an adult who has to care for small humans when hungover is never cool.
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